Sunday, February 25, 2007

Only in passion can wisdom truly thrive. For it is not needed until the emotional strain is so heavy that it thickens the air.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Black and White Ball!






Went to the Black and White Ball at School and it was a BLAST!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Jesus came up

I will sing this song to you and you will shake the ground for me.

and the birds and bees and old fruit trees will spit out songs like gushing streams.

and Jesus will come up from the ground so dirty,

with worms in his hair and his hands so sturdy

To call us his magic we call him worthy

Jesus came up from the ground so dirty.

I will sing this song to you and you will stomp your feet for me

and the bears and bees and bannana tress will play kazoos and tamberines

and Jesus will dance while we drink his whine

with soldiers and theives and sword in his side.

we will be joy oh we will be right

Jesus will dance while we drink his whine...

la la la la la la la la

And Jesus will come through the ground so dirty

with worms in his hair and a hand so sturdy...

Jesus came up through the ground so dirty.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Psalm 31

I run to you, God; I run for dear life.
Don’t let me down!

Take me seriously this time!
Get down on my level and listen,
and please—no procrastination!

Your granite cave a hiding place,
your high cliff aerie a place of safety.

You’re my cave to hide in,
my cliff to climb.

Be my safe leader,
be my true mountain guide.

Free me from hidden traps;
I want to hide in you.

I’ve put my life in your hands.
You won’t drop me,
you’ll never let me down.

I hate all this silly religion,
but you, God, I trust.

I’m leaping and singing in the circle of your love;
you saw my pain,
you disarmed my tormentors,

You didn’t leave me in their clutches
but gave me room to breathe.

Be kind to me, God—

I’m in deep, deep trouble again.

I’ve cried my eyes out;

I feel hollow inside.

My life leaks away, groan by groan;
my years fade out in sighs.

My troubles have worn me out,
turned my bones to powder.

To my enemies I’m a monster;
I’m ridiculed by the neighbors.

My friends are horrified;
they cross the street to avoid me.

They want to blot me from memory,
forget me like a corpse in a grave,
discard me like a broken dish in the trash.

The street-talk gossip has me
“criminally insane”!
Behind locked doors they plot
how to ruin me for good.

Desperate, I throw myself on you:
you are my God!

Hour by hour I place my days in your hand,
safe from the hands out to get me.

Warm me, your servant, with a smile;
save me because you love me.

Don’t embarrass me by not showing up;
I’ve given you plenty of notice.

Embarrass the wicked, stand them up,
leave them stupidly shaking their heads
as they drift down to hell.

Gag those loudmouthed liars
who heckle me, your follower,
with jeers and catcalls

What a stack of blessing you have piled up
for those who worship you,

Ready and waiting for all who run to you
to escape an unkind world.


You hide them safely away
from the opposition.

As you slam the door on those oily, mocking faces,
you silence the poisonous gossip.
Blessed God!

His love is the wonder of the world.
Trapped by a siege, I panicked.
“Out of sight, out of mind,” I said.
But you heard me say it,
you heard and listened.

Love God, all you saints;
God takes care of all who stay close to him,
But he pays back in full
those arrogant enough to go it alone.

Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up.
Expect God to get here soon.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Homework! Oh Homework!

"Homework! Oh, Homework! I hate you! You stink!

I wish I could wash you away in the sink, if only a bomb would explode you to bits.

Homework! Oh, homework!You're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths with a man-eating shark,

or wrestle a lion alone in the dark,

eat spinach and liver,

pet ten porcupines,

than tackle the homework, my teacher assigns.

Homework! Oh, homework!

you're last on my list, I simple can't see why you even exist, if you just disappeared it would tickle me pink.

Homework! Oh, homework!I hate you! You stink!"


Jack Prelutsky

This is how I am feeling about school right now. I'm ready to be done!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Random Thoughts of the Day cont'd


What if there is a divine peice that plays out. What if we no longer are just physical, mental, emotional beings that are driven by impulsive beharviour?

In Amercia we continually seek out hero's to pin point in our society. Social, Ethical, even Commercial steryotypes are clinged to because there is essentially no hope. We look at these hero's as strong, courageous, beings, without fault. People who have, and are standing up for something much bigger than themselves.

But can this be true? Probably not. Each individual has the ability to do right and wrong, if it exists at the time, and each individual has the ability to situationally change. To be a hypocrit. No one is special. No one's abilities are special, unless there is a divine being. Something that has introverted itself into culture and extroverted itself in humanity. Something that has the ability to understand and to allow big things to happen.

As understood before we are all slaves to something. We are all mastered by something. In this world something controls are beings whether it be gravity itself or the caffein that drives our physical and mental observations.

The ironic thing in America is we so long for freedom that we have lost the understanding of what it truly is. We so long for freedom but when we are given it we look at it and laugh like it is an impossibility. But, if we are enslaved how can we truly ever be free.

Again it must come back to something divine. Something that is separated from humanity itself but activley intervenes on our behalf.

But will this divine being free us from our selfishness just to please it's own desire for our selves. Have we been found twisted in a game of tug-a-war, where we are the -a-?

We can only be freed by something outsound of ourselves but when does this ever truly happen, and if it does don't we find ourselves enslaved to something just as bad.

Whether it be debt, loss, pain, misunderstanding, self-pity, ignorance, heroin, racism, alchochol, bitterness, caffien, sexual identity, or even love in it's pureist form. While all these things seem good on their own when mixed with the desire and the impusion of humanity something synister occurs. We have no control over anything nor do we really have control over our own selves.

Because none of us are true heros. None of us truly can grasp the duality of being a great purist and a scathing narcisist.

But I continue to go back to this simple and yet complex question of what if? What if purity of heart can be found? What if we can touch and taste these purities?

What if?

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Light and Dark...the Contrast

So as I stated before in my earlier blog, I ink I have found a solution to black and white theology.

Well I guess it would not be considered a solution, since in the reality of theology solutions simply don't exist.

But I think that I have connected two ideas that I, personally, have never seen connected before.

When we look at Black, White, and Grey we see concrete absolutes. They can destroy each other as well as themselves through moral obstructions.

This is the way the church has been looking at the world. That is our first problem. The church needs to stop using the Black and White theology and start using the Light and Dark theology.

Light and Dark is an anology that is used throughout the Bible.

"I am the light of the world"-Jesus

"This is the message we have heard and declare to you: God is light in him there is no darkness. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John 1: 5-7

So the church has been viewing the way of Jesus as a moral ideal when they should have been viewing the way of Jesus as everything. All of life.

Light is not concrete.

The interesting thing about light is that it is flexiable. It defies scientific reasoning and it is a creation that is of epic proportion.


Darkness is not concrete either.

It has the ability to change the atmosphere of a situation. Things happen in the dark that are not scene. The dark is something of a mystery to us so we tell scary stories about it, because it's easier to be frightened by it then to be educated about it.

Light can always overcome darkness. Put one singe candle in a darkened room and every space can be shown to one degree or another.

These ideas are not concrete and they are not based on the moral subjectives that used to rule and dominate our world.

We have, as a church, gone one way or the other. We have declared that we will stick to the Black and White moral theology that has worked for us in the past, or we say love all tolerate all.

God's love isn't tolerant.

We have forgotten that Light conquers Dark and that Dark has a tendencty to conquer Black White and Gray.

As a Church we need to start asking the question; what did Jesus mean when he said

"I am the light of the world"

And how do we live that out in a morally stripped and subversivley spiritual culture?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Abstract versus Concrete.

Black and White.

This is how the church has dealt with issues for the last couple of centuries. Everything is either right or wrong. There is a gray but that is a dangerous place to be or as the church goers call it "lukewarm."

Except the idea of black and white don't exist in the Bible. Jesus never stands on a hill and says;
"White is and absolute and it represents good. Black is an absolute and it represents Bad. There is also gray but that is the world you live in and that is something you want to stay away from. Gray makes things complicated, so you should just stay white. Don't mix with the culture."

There is one main problem with this theological veiw point: the church has created these categories to be concrete. White is an absolute so it cannot be changed. It cannot be added to and it cannot be reconstructed. Black is the same way. We cannot change black because it is also an absolute. Since we cannot touch these absolutes we certiantley cannot obtain either of them. I cannot become white because white is already established and I cannot become black because black has already been established. So I guess if I can't be either of these things I am gray. This ultimatley makes sense because I have white(good) and black(bad) in my soul. But I cannot move from gray because it is an absolute as well.

White, Black, and Gray are all moral issues. Everything is moral in this category so everything else is left behind. If everything is black and white then your morals must be set at an early age and never change. There is no room for God to move.

The church has used this analogy for such a long time that it does not know what to do in this culture. It doesn't know whether to stick with the Black and White theology even though it won't float and it won't be recieved well, or whether it should just be "tolerate" and "love" everyone.

This is what I think is one of the biggest issues in the Amercian church is.

I also think that there is a solution to this problem but more on that later.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Random thoughts of the day....

We enter into every situation representing something. If we lose our identities in our role as a sisiter, mother, daughter, wife we seemingly lose ourselves.

When we strip away our roles our identity still remains. When we walk into every situaiton we represent something, and that is our identity. But if we don't find our identity in our roles where do we find it or discover it?

Do we find it in the physical body? Is the essence of our identity the physical random movement that occurs? This can not be it becuase I need my mind to move.

So is the intellectual the identity that we need to discover? The capacity of our mind must stop somewhere and where it stops must be when we die. Is our intellect our identity? How can this be if many of my decisions are made by my emotions. By the pain and the love that I feel. By the undeniable passion that stirs my lust for money, food, sex, reputation. So then is our identity found in the emotional stat? Does my emotioanl lust run my life? Is this all I am: a selfish shell of inconsisties?

Where does my identity come from? My anscenstors? My hometown? My reputation? My friends? My past? My talents and abilities? My religious stature?

If my identity is found and formed by all of these outside and inside elements all of my decisions are already made. My life is doomed from the beginning because my life is a big cirlce. It is a repetitive cycle of past experiences redifing my present experiences. Nothing is new and nothing can be original. All of my thoughts are all the same but as I get older they just are fromed in a new way. Same message, different presentation. All I am is a large amount of marked experiences that mean nothing and represent nothing. I am a large waste of molecules and chemical reactions.

But what if?

That statement makes something new possible. What if I am something? What if my identity is found somewhere that is not created? Something that is not humanly innovated?

What if? Can I even ask this question? Is dreaming apart of my old recollections or is it a divine inspiration that is meant to be known and addressed. Do we reall have an identity or do we just have a reality in which souls pass by in their physical representations.

What if?